Relationships aren’t always smooth sailing but there are ways to make them slightly easier. Learning to be with someone can be difficult as not everyone is the same and you have to get to know each person’s ways of living. Relationships are rollercoaster rides and that’s okay!
- Ways to better your relationship
- Issues that may arise in relationships
- Allowing yourself to be vulnerable
The most important aspect for two people to be together is communication, you have to be able to speak to your partner about anything or it can majorly effect the whole dynamic of the relationship. Opening up from the start helps your relationship grow, to be full of trust, happiness and love. With each passing day in a relationship you learn more and more about your significant other.
Assuming the best of your partner will help keep your relationship on the positive side, some actions your partner may have made or will make could end with you feeling rather disappointed. You may feel hurt on a personal level, but the chances of your partner having done it on purpose is slim.
Letting go is hard but quite often that is what it will take to make a relationship work, if your other half or you have done something to upset the other you will gave to apologise, learn from it and move on. Being in a relationship for a long time can mean people being to slack as it becomes too easy to blame the other person.
Frequently, it is just a case of getting over yourself, and getting over your mood. Being able to let go and move on, will set you up for a great day, if you can leave discussions and arguments behind, you can both go back to focusing on the good. You will never be bored if you make everyday an adventure with your other half, this is something that you will hear quite often, it can only be as good as you make it.
Times are hard right now, so projection could be an even bigger issue than normal. Projection is when you transfer your own feelings about yourself or a situation onto someone else. Typically it is a subconscious habit, projecting leads you to assume that your partner feels a certain way when, in reality, they don’t. Projections can be hurtful as they are a reflection of your own issues or own past relationships. Unfortunately it is hard to explain to your partner and they may not understand and think it is because of their actions, when in fact it is not.
The word ‘should’, we don’t like this word in a relationship setting. It causes upset, ‘should of, would of, could of’ they are all the same. We could have done things differently, we should have done things differently and now we know we would have done things differently. Changing your mindset will make a huge difference, saying “you should have came home earlier so we could have had dinner together” makes the person feel they have to argue back, they should have but they couldn’t and they didn’t. However, if you say “maybe you could come home early tomorrow and we can have dinner together”, it sounds like more of a wish, which will be taken better by the partner, in which they will either agree.
Acknowledging your partner for the small and simpler things in life will make you both stronger, you will appreciate each other. Even if your partner makes you a cup of tea, or does the dishes when it isn’t their day to do the dishes, these selfless acts deserve a thank you. They might not even realise they are doing such a lovely act, they will most likely be doing it out of the kindness of their heart. Hearing a great big thank you from your partner, can feel like you’ve just bought them a new car! The small things in life can genuinely make you so happy.
You and your partner need to be able to separate your work life from your home life, if you are not investing your time in your partner or vice versa it will add stress. Working over time from home, and not watching a movie with your partner can cause major insecurities for the other person, as they may feel they are being forgotten about. Try and be your most loving and happy self at home, life gets in the way sometimes and there will be days when you are more affectionate and thankful to your partner than other days and they will be there throughout. However, if all the nights when you are forgetting about them add up it will cause I massive strain, and of course vice versa. Spend quality time with each other, sit and watch a movie, cook together, go and get shopping together. Small things add up.
Envisioning a future full of goals in a great thing to share as a couple as it can brighten your future. You both may have very individual goals, so finding time to make goals together is important. It could be to go on a special holiday in a year or two, it could be to buy your dream family car or even going sky diving together. It could be anything, as long as it is together!
Get intimate, not just sexually, however, that is massively important in a relationship, that you are able to be intimate together. Intimacy can be mistaken for sex, but it isn’t just that. Intimacy is physical touching, like holding hands or putting your arm round your partner. It could be eye contact, smiling at each other, making each other laugh all of these aspects of intimacy can really hold a relationship together.
Voice your opinion, this comes into communication as well, however, this is something that after a few years can become apparent. No matter how well your other half knows you or you know them, you cannot possibly know every thought going on in their head and they cannot possibly know every thought going through your head. Voice your thoughts and you will cause a lot less drama. It could be that either both or one of you in the relationship feel as though if you voice your opinion the other person will not take it how you mean it. Checking in is a normal part of a relationship, but really ask how they are, what they thinking about and how everything else in their life is.
Take your time to listen, to spend time with your other half and really get into the nitty gritty of everything. In a relationship you are the only two that can genuinely help the relationship grow, if you choose to continue with the relationship then work at it everyday. If you do not want to be part of a relationship anymore you need to discuss this as soon as the feelings come about, so you both can either fix it or end it. Discussing everything is key to a healthy relationship. It is also okay to be down sometimes in your relationship, it happens, not everything is perfect, that is why we need to work on them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article “Relationships are rollercoaster rides and that’s okay”
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